WHEN I READ THIS, I INSTANTLY THOUGHT OF JEFF KUHNER

Kuhner is a psycho who writes for the Washington Times and occasionally subs for Michael Savage, so it made sense to attribute this article to him:

Moonie Times Columnist Has Many Nuanced, Reasonable Opinions About Bikesharing
by Jim Newell
5:15 pm May 30, 2012
Wonkette

DC’s Capital Bikeshare program, for which you pay a fee to join and then ride bikes to and from docking stations across the city, is a popular thing that keeps enlisting new members and expanding. And now we can really confirm the success of this program, because a Washington Times columnist has written a pathetic, desperate screed about how bikesharing is communist, and gay, and the downfall of the West, essentially.

Let It Be Known: Moonie Times penman Charles Hurt is sick of the communist queers picking up bicycles for transportation, near his house:

It is one of the locking ports for those fat, red communal bicycles you see peddled all over town by commune enthusiasts. (Say that fast, and it sounds like you are saying “commun-ists.”)